Escape to Paradise: Le Clos des Oyats, Your Calais Dream Awaits
Escape to Paradise: Le Clos des Oyats - Or, My Calais Adventure (and the Tiny Towel That Nearly Broke Me)
Okay, let's be real. "Calais Dream Awaits" sounds a bit… optimistic, doesn't it? But I'm here to tell you, Le Clos des Oyats, despite a few minor hiccups (more on the tiny towel later!), actually delivers on the "Paradise" part. It's not some flawless, hyper-commercialized resort. It's… something more. Human. Real. And frankly, a damn good place to de-stress.
First things first: Accessibility. They get it. Forget those hotels that say they're accessible and then make you navigate a maze of impossible ramps. Le Clos des Oyats has the good sense to provide proper wheelchair access throughout the property. Big win. And while I wasn't personally using a wheelchair, I appreciated the thoughtful consideration. It’s just the kind of detail that makes the overall experience better for everyone.
Now, let's talk about the good stuff: Spa & Relaxation. Honestly, this is where Le Clos des Oyats really shines. The swimming pool? Gorgeous. Especially with that pool with a view. Imagine: you’re bobbing around, the sun hitting your face, and suddenly, the world feels… manageable again. The sauna, steamroom, and spa? All top-notch. I may or may not have spent a solid hour in the steamroom letting the stress of the week melt away like cheap chocolate. (Pro tip: bring a book! Though, be warned, it's easy to fall asleep). They also had a gym/fitness center, but I'm more of a "lying horizontally and possibly napping" kind of person, so I can't personally vouch for it. But hey, it's there if you're into that sort of thing. Oh, and the massage? Heavenly. I went for the full body experience, and I swear I levitated off the table afterward.
Cleanliness & Safety. This is CRUCIAL, especially now. And Le Clos des Oyats delivered. They've clearly put a lot of thought into their protocols. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection in common areas? Check. Hand sanitizer EVERYWHERE. I felt genuinely safe and comfortable. I definitely noticed the meticulous cleaning, and as someone with a slight germaphobe tendency, I appreciated it. The fact that they even have room sanitization opt-out available showed a level of awareness that I really respect.
Okay, let's get into the nitty-gritty. Dining, Drinking, and Snacking. Look, I appreciate a good Asian cuisine in the restaurant, but I'm also a sucker for a solid buffet. And Le Clos des Oyats? Nailed it. The breakfast buffet was a sight to behold. Fresh croissants, perfectly cooked bacon, a dizzying array of cheeses… I may have indulged a little too much. (Blame the jet lag! And the croissants!). The restaurants themselves offered a good selection, including a vegetarian restaurant – which, as a sometimes-vegetarian, I adored! Good coffee. Good food. And the poolside bar was perfect for a pre-dinner aperitif. They also offered room service [24-hour], which, let's be honest, is a lifesaver.
Services and Conveniences. This is where Le Clos des Oyats really went above and beyond! Concierge? Wonderful! They helped me with everything from booking a taxi to finding the best bakery in town. The daily housekeeping was impeccable. And the facilities for disabled guests seemed top-notch. They even had a gift/souvenir shop (which I may have raided for some adorable Calais-themed trinkets). The luggage storage was super convenient too.
Available in All Rooms. Alright, let's finally talk about my nemesis: the tiny towel. I swear, it was smaller than my face! I mean, come on! How am I supposed to dry myself after a glorious shower? I brought it up with the nice lady at the front desk, and she was mortified and immediately offered me a replacement (a BIG one!). Seriously, if this is my biggest complaint of the stay, they're doin' something right. The Air conditioning was a godsend. The complimentary tea was a nice touch. The safe box gave me peace of mind, and the Wi-Fi [free] was fast and reliable. In my room, there was a reading light (needed!). Also, the shower was great.
Now, a few quirks and observations:
- Rooms Sanitization Opt-Out: This wasn’t just a nice touch; it was respectful. It says, “We care about your well-being, and your privacy.”
- Exterior corridors: They have this charming, old-world feel. But they also add an extra layer of security, which is a plus.
- Bicycle parking: I didn't bike, but it's a nice touch in an area made for exploring.
- Couples room: I didn’t take a peek, but probably romantic (if you’re into that).
- Couple's room: I'm not a kid, so I didn’t use any kids facilities, but the hotel is family friendly, and that’s also a point.
- Non-smoking rooms: Thank the heavens.
- Fire extinguisher: Yes. Very important.
- Wake-up service: Saved my butt.
- Front desk [24-hour]: Always appreciated.
- Proposal spot: For the romantics, they thought about this.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: This made me feel a lot more assured with the pandemic.
So, is Le Clos des Oyats perfect? No. Is it a place you'll likely be thrilled with? Absolutely. It's a place where relaxation is prioritized. It's a place where the staff genuinely seems to care. And it's a place where you can actually, truly, escape.
Stop Dreaming, Start Escaping! Your Calais Dream is Waiting.
Tired of the same old routine? Yearning for a getaway where you can actually unwind? Escape to Paradise: Le Clos des Oyats in Calais.
Here's what awaits:
- Unwind in Luxury: From the stunning swimming pool with a view to the soothing spa and sauna, Le Clos des Oyats is your sanctuary.
- Delicious Delights: Indulge in a delectable breakfast buffet, savor international cuisine, and enjoy a cocktail at the poolside bar.
- Stress-Free Stay: Rest easy knowing that your safety and comfort are our top priorities.
- Accessibility for ALL Guests: Our hotel features thoughtful accommodations for guests with mobility needs.
This isn't just a hotel; it's an experience. Book your stay at Le Clos des Oyats today and discover the true meaning of relaxation.
Special Offer: Book your stay within the next week and receive a complimentary spa treatment and a welcome bottle of wine. Don't just dream of escape… live it!
Click here to book now and experience the magic of Le Clos des Oyats! (Insert a link to a booking page)
P.S. Don't forget to pack a decent-sized towel! (Just kidding… they've got you covered!)
Jaw-Dropping Mumbai Luxury: Hotel Jawahar's Unforgettable Stay
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! You're about to get a taste of travel planning, my way. Forget perfect itineraries, we're aiming for "survived with a few hilarious scars." We're going to Le Clos des Oyats in Calais? Excellent choice. Beach, history, probably some seagulls trying to steal my chips. Let's do this.
ITINERARY: Le Clos des Oyats - A Week of French-ness (and Probably Some Mild Panic)
(Disclaimer: Subject to change. My bladder, my mood, and the French bistro's wine selection may dictate significant alterations.)
Saturday: Arrival & Unpacking (and Praying I Packed Enough Socks)
- Morning (Around 8:00 AM, Brussels Airport): Okay, first hurdle: the flight. Hopefully, I haven’t forgotten my passport, again. (It's happened. Don't judge). Finding the luggage carousel: level expert. Surviving Belgian waffles: level novice. The waffle thingy, I'm a goner, I can eat five of them.
- Mid-Morning (Around 9:00 AM, Brussels): Rental car pickup. Praying I haven't been assigned some tiny death-trap. French roads, in my opinion, are more like a thrilling obstacle course, the rental car is the race car. Praying I've memorized the "Give way at the roundabout" rule. (Every. Freakin'. Time. I swear).
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon (Around 11:30 AM, On the road to Calais): The scenic drive (probably). Assuming Google Maps doesn’t try to send me through a cow field. I'm expecting a bit of a chill drive through the French villages, a coffee, just maybe, an accident of the beautiful scenery.
- Driving Anecdote: Last time driving in France, I took a wrong turn. Ended up on a tiny cobblestone street, with a bakery on my left and a very judgmental flock of pigeons on my right. Felt like a scene from a movie. I even almost crashed, for the first time in my life.
- Afternoon (Around 2:00 PM, Le Clos des Oyats, Calais): Unpacking. The true test of holiday happiness. Is everything here? Did I forget my toothbrush? (Very likely). The panic set in. The unpacking? It's not a perfect art. I'm a bit messy. The hotel, oh, it's adorable.
- Late Afternoon/Evening (Around 5:00 PM, Calais): A stroll around the area while I feel my way around, the air, the people, the food, the sun, and the sea.
- Emotional Reaction: Honestly, just being here, smelling the sea air, that's enough. It feels like a weight lifted. I love this.
- Evening (Around 7:00 PM, Calais): Dinner at a bistro. Seafood, of course. And wine. Lots of wine. If the waiter speaks English, great. If not, we'll figure it out with a lot of pointing and laughter.
- Quirky Observation: I bet the seagulls are watching us right now, thinking, "Those humans, they're going to leave their food unattended, aren't they?"
Sunday: Beach Day (AND the Quest for the Perfect Croissant)
- Morning (Around 8:00 AM, Calais): The Cruelest Dilemma: Rise early for fresh croissants? Or sleep in and embrace the blissful, guilt-free leisure? I'll probably do both.
- Morning (Around 9:00 AM, Le Clos des Oyats Beach): Sunscreen, check. Towel, check. The battle with the beach umbrella? That's going to be a show. I envision a majestic victory.
- Imperfection/Rambling: Okay, so I'm terrible at beach bumming. I get restless. I need to do something. But, hey, I’ll try, right? I'll probably wander down the beach, look for seashells, and inevitably end up kicking a child's sandcastle. (Sorry, kid!)
- Midday (Around 12:00 PM, Calais): Lunch at a seaside café. Moules frites. And, you guessed it, more wine.
- Afternoon (Around 2:00 PM, Le Clos des Oyats Beach): Beach comb time. Collecting shells and hoping, just hoping, to find a bit of sea glass. The dream is sea glass, a beautiful reminder of the crashing waves.
- Stronger Emotional Reaction: The ocean. I love the sound of the waves. The way the sun feels on my skin. It makes me feel so alive. I love this little paradise. Ugh.. I'm so happy.
- Evening (Around 7:00 PM, Calais): Dinner. No more mussels. We're going for something more… exotic. Some delicious curry or a classic steak. Still with a glass of French wine.
Monday: History & Town Exploration (Hoping the History Doesn't Bore Me to Tears)
Morning (Around 9:00 AM, Calais): Wandering the city. Visiting the Town Hall, the Burghers of Calais sculpture. Learning. I mean, trying to learn. My attention span is that of a goldfish.
Messy Structure/Rambling: Okay, so, history. It's important. Really. But… I might get bored. I hope not, because Calais has a lot of cool stuff. Hopefully, the tour guide has a sense of humor. Or, at the very least, decent English.
11:00 AM, Calais: The Burghers of Calais sculpture. Rodin! Maybe. I'll appreciate the artistry. I will stand there for a while, and just imagine what life was, back then.
Midday (Around 12:30 PM, Calais): Lunch at a cafe. A sandwich. A proper, French sandwich.
Afternoon (Around 2:00 PM, Calais): Exploring the Citadel. Climbing the walls. Pretending I'm a knight defending the castle.
Late Afternoon (Around 4:00 PM, Calais): Shopping. A little bit. Nothing too crazy, but some souvenirs. Some lovely treats.
Evening (Around 7:00 PM, Calais): A fancy dinner! A proper, French dinner. Some delicious French food.
Tuesday: Day Trip
- Morning (Around 9:00 AM, Destination – Don't know yet): Planning. This is difficult. I'm open to suggestions. This day could involve a train ride, or a drive somewhere.
- Quirky Observation: The best part of planning a day trip is the daydreaming: What if I visit the most beautiful places? I will find the most wonderful restaurants. The reality is, I'll probably get lost.
- Midday (Around 1:00 PM, somewhere): Lunch. Whatever I find.
- Afternoon (Around 2:00 PM, Somewhere): More exploration.
- Evening (Around 7:00 PM, Back in Calais): Relax. Dinner.
Wednesday: Market Day & Culinary Adventures
- Morning (Around 9:00 AM, Calais Market): The market. The colorful chaos. The smells. The potential for buying things I don't need.
- Stronger Emotional Reaction: I love markets! The atmosphere, the people, the food… It's like a sensory overload in the best way possible.
- Late Morning (Around 11:00 AM, Calais Market): Trying to buy some cheese. And bread. Maybe even some of those weird little pastries. Hopefully, I can muddle through the French.
- Midday (Around 12:30 PM, Back at the hotel): Preparing my lunch. (Hopefully doesn't involve burning down the hotel).
- Afternoon (Around 2:00 PM, Calais): A cooking class. I might burn the food. But hey, it will be a fun experience!
- Doubling Down on Single Experience: Okay, cooking classes. I have done a couple of them. They are hilarious to watch. I chop, I mix, I pour until my hands hurt. The result? A mixed bag. Sometimes the food is edible, sometimes it's a disaster. Either way, it's a comedy special.
- Evening (Around 7:00 PM, Calais): Dinner using the things I cooked. If it is not a disaster.
Thursday: The Beach Again & The Calais History
- Morning (Around 9:00 AM, The Beach): The sea air is calling. Enjoy the beach before the crowds. This time I'll have the swimsuit.
- Midday (Around 12:00 PM, A local restaurant): A nice meal. A nice experience.
- Afternoon (Around 2:00 PM, The place you missed at the start): The museums. A lovely afternoon.
Ah, Le Clos des Oyats... Expect the Unexpected (and a Few French Hiccups) - FAQs
Right, so... Le Clos des Oyats. What *is* it, exactly? Because "Paradise" is a big claim, you know?
Okay, so "Paradise"... Let's just say, it's *French* Paradise. Which means: charming, a bit rusty around the edges, and you'll probably need to brush up on your "Bonjour" and "Merci." Basically, it's a collection of gîtes (that's French for cottages, fancy, right?) near Calais, just a hop, skip, and a ferry/Eurotunnel away. Think sand dunes, beach walks, and the constant, delicious scent of freshly baked bread. It’s got a certain *je ne sais quoi*, even if the "je ne sais quoi" occasionally involves a slightly wonky showerhead.
My own experience? Well, the first time, I was picturing pristine white buildings and perfectly mown lawns. Reality? A bit more… lived in. But in a good way! The imperfections add character, like that slightly too-loud rooster that started crowing at 4 AM. You get used to it. Eventually. And honestly? That rusty charm grows on ya.
Is it really "Escape"? I need a proper escape from the constant chaos!
Depends on your definition of chaos, I suppose. Le Clos des Oyats *promises* escape. True, there's still the small matter of having to pack, drive (or train), and navigate a foreign country, which, let's face it, can create its own little pockets of mayhem. But once you're there… ahhh. The air is different. The pace slows. You're surrounded by sand, sea, and the general vibe of "things can wait."
I remember one trip, I'd barely gotten the unpacking done before I was stretched out on the beach, listening to the waves and thinking, "This is it. THIS is the escape." Then my toddler decided to use my newly-acquired sun cream as a painting medium. But even *that* couldn't fully ruin the feeling of peace. (Though, the stain on my favourite beach read... *sigh*)
Gîtes, eh? What are they actually *like*? Cleanliness is key, I'm a bit of a Monica Geller...
Alright, let's get real about the gîtes. "Clean" is a relative term. Let's just say, it's not a sterile, clinical experience. Think "rustic charm" with a dash of "lived-in." From my personal experience, it’s more like, "mostly clean". They're generally well-equipped, with kitchens (essential!), but the level of pristine-ness… well, it varies. Don't go expecting a five-star hotel. Do bring your own cleaning wipes, just in case. I've learned the hard way.
One time, *shudders*, I walked into the bathroom and... well, let's just say I spent the first hour scrubbing. Turns out, the previous tenants had a rather enthusiastic approach to… everything. BUT! Once I'd conquered *that* battle, it was all good. And again, the charm factor is high. You are in France, after all. Embrace the slightly off-kilter.
What's the area *like*? Can I get to the beach easily? And is there anything to *do* besides just, you know, *be*?
The area is stunning. Seriously. Miles and miles of sandy beaches right at your doorstep. The real draw. You can practically roll out of bed and onto the sand. The beaches are wide, perfect for long walks, building sandcastles (if you have small people in tow), or just staring at the sea.
As for things to *do*: Well, beyond the beach, you’ve got Calais itself. It's not exactly Paris, but it has its own quirky charm. The Cité de la Dentelle et de la Mode (lace museum) is surprisingly interesting, and the local markets are a feast for the senses. Day trips to nearby towns are possible too. But, let's be honest, the main attraction *is* the beach. Embrace the “doing-nothing”... It's the best part.
Food! Tell me about the food! I live to eat!
Oh, the food! This is where Le Clos des Oyats *really* shines. Freshly baked bread is practically a legal requirement. And the cheese! Divine. The local markets are brimming with deliciousness – cheeses, charcuterie, fresh produce. And the seafood! You can get mussels cooked every which way. It's a culinary adventure.
My advice? Learn a few basic French food phrases. "Un baguette, s'il vous plaît" goes a long way. And be prepared to overeat. You will, you absolutely *will*, especially when it comes to the pastries. My waistline can attest to that. Pro tip: find the nearest boulangerie (bakery) immediately upon arrival. And don’t be afraid to experiment! Some of the best meals I’ve had have been accidental culinary discoveries from tiny, unassuming bistros. Just be prepared for the occasional plate of something you can't quite identify. Part of the fun, right?
Is Le Clos des Oyats good for families? I have little terrors… I mean, *children*.
Kids adore it. The beach is a massive playground. Building sandcastles, splashing in the sea, running wild… it's a parent's dream (until you’re covered head-to-toe in sand and your kids are screaming about who’s hogging the bucket). Safe, shallow water, plenty of open space to run around… it's ideal.
Plus, the relaxed atmosphere means you don't have to stress about keeping your little ones perfectly behaved. Honestly, the messier the better. The only downside? The inevitable sand-everywhere situation. I’m still finding sand in my luggage from last year. It haunts me!
Okay, so, downsides? (Be honest!)
Let's be real. Nothing's perfect. As I’ve said, the gîtes aren’t super-slick. And depending on the time of year, the weather can be a bit, uh… *variable*. One minute sunshine, the next, howling wind and rain. The access can be a pain if you're avoiding the Ferry. The traffic around Calais can get busy, especially during holidays – it’s a bit of a slog, let’s say.
The biggest 'downside' for me? Leaving. Even a few days. Every time I’ve been it’s flown by. But the potential for sandstorms, the unpredictable weather, the occasional dodgy shower… all worth it for that feeling of pure, utter relaxation.
Should I go? Give it to me straight!
