Escape to Paradise: Portofino Mar Benidorm Awaits!

Portofino Mar Benidorm - Costa Blanca Spain

Escape to Paradise: Portofino Mar Benidorm Awaits!

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the swirling, sun-drenched, and possibly slightly-dysfunctional world of Escape to Paradise: Portofino Mar Benidorm Awaits! Let's see if this place actually is paradise, or just another hotel pretending to be…

(SEO Focus: Benidorm Hotels, Wheelchair Accessible Hotels Benidorm, Spa Hotels Benidorm, All-Inclusive Benidorm, Family Hotels Benidorm)

The Arrival & First Impressions (and a Minor Panic Attack):

Right, Benidorm. Famous for… well, a lot of things. Let's just say it’s vibey. The Portofino Mar, thankfully, sits a little apart from the immediate chaos. Finding it was easy enough, but parking… oh, that's where things got interesting. Apparently, even with "Car park [on-site]" listed, the parking situation is a competitive sport. Managed to squeeze into a spot, narrowly avoiding a collision with… a particularly flamboyant scooter. (Insert slightly shaky deep breath here).

The lobby? Okay, pretty standard. Clean, bright, a bit…lobby-ish. The check-in, thankfully, was relatively painless. The staff seemed genuinely friendly, which is always a plus, especially after the parking ordeal. And yay for Contactless check-in/out, baby! No more fumbling with pens! Though, did anyone actually clean that pen they were giving me? Hmm.

Accessibility: The Real Test (and a sigh of relief)

Crucially, I was checking the Wheelchair Accessible situation. This is HUGE for a lot of people! And, initially, my heart sank a little. No obvious ramps immediately. Then… Elevator! Phew. Okay, so far so good. The Facilities for disabled guests listing made me optimistic. More research required. And, let's be honest, it's not perfect, but it appears to be better than a lot of places claiming to be accessible. I found a few accessible rooms, and the ones I saw have a good layout.

My Room: A Sanctuary…Mostly (with a Side of Minor Panic #2):

So, my room. Standard, but clean. Crucially, Air conditioning! Bless. The Air conditioning in all rooms is a must in Benidorm. The Blackout curtains were also a godsend. Benidorm is bright. The Free Wi-Fi (and Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!) worked without a hitch. I had a Window that opens to breathe in fresh air. But then, I went to see the bathroom. Now, the shower had a weird step to get in, which wasn't ideal for everyone. Just sayin'. It had a Bathtub, which is always luxurious, and Toiletries that… well, they smelled like something I couldn’t quite place.

The Mini bar was tempting, but I resisted. I’m planning to make a break for the pool, the Swimming pool [outdoor], and the Pool with view, and will get a drink the Poolside bar, eventually.

Food, Glorious Food (and a few food fails):

Alright, let’s talk about food. The hotel offered an overwhelming range of options. Too many, if you ask me.

• Breakfast [buffet]: The usual suspects, plus some surprisingly good pastries. I had a Coffee/tea in restaurant, and a Bottle of water. I liked the option for Breakfast takeaway service.
• Restaurants: The Restaurants included Asian restaurant, European restaurant, and a Vegetarian restaurant.
• Dining, drinking, and snacking The hotel had: A la carte in restaurant, Bar, Coffee shop, Poolside bar, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour,
• Cuisine: Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant

I tried the international buffet, and, you know what? Some was great, some… not so much. I opted for the food from the Salad in restaurant, but there was also the Buffet in restaurant.

The Spa & Relaxation Zone: My Personal Oasis (almost)

This is where the Portofino Mar almost redeemed itself as paradise. The Spa, with its Sauna, Steamroom, and Spa/sauna, was legitimately lovely. I spent a solid hour in there melting my stress away. The Massage was… okay. Not the best I’ve ever had, but good enough. The Fitness center, with its Gym/fitness was also okay.

The Foot bath was an interesting addition, though. I think I liked it. Maybe? I need more investigation. The body scrub and body wrap offered, also very tempting. The Pool with view was a major selling point.

Things to Do: Beyond the Buffet (and more minor panics):

Okay, Benidorm isn’t exactly known for its cultural depth. But, Things to do offers a variety of activities:

• Getting around: Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking
• Services and conveniences: Bicycle parking, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, On-site event hosting, Safety deposit boxes, Smoking area, Terrace
• For the kids: Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal
• Business facilities: Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Projector/LED display, Seminars
• Events: Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events, Wi-Fi for special events

Cleanliness and Safety: The COVID-Era Reality Check:

Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: COVID. And the hotel offered some good options to protect us.

• Cleanliness and safety: Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment
• Security/Safety Features: Access, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Non-smoking rooms, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms

The Verdict: Is It Paradise? (Mostly, With Caveats)

Escape to Paradise: Portofino Mar Benidorm Awaits!… is a solid choice. The accessibility is good. The spa is great. The location is decent. The food… well, it’s what you expect. The staff are friendly. And the fact that the Doctor/nurse on call gives you peace of mind.

The Offer: Your Benidorm Escape Awaits!

Tired of the same old routine? Craving sunshine, relaxation, and a little bit of Spanish chaos? Then ditch the everyday and book your escape to the Portofino Mar in Benidorm!

Here's what makes this the perfect getaway:

• Unwind in Luxury: Relax your worries away at our relaxing Spa, or take a dip in the Swimming pool [outdoor] with a view.
• Good food, and great coffee The hotel had: Coffee/tea in restaurant, and a Coffee shop.
• Family-Friendly Fun: Bring the whole gang! We have Family/child friendly options.
• Peace of Mind: Your safety is our top priority. We've implemented rigorous cleaning and safety protocols, including Professional-grade sanitizing services and Hand sanitizer stations throughout the hotel.

Book your stay TODAY and receive:

• Free Wi-Fi: Stay connected with Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!
• Flexible cancellation policy: Book with confidence, knowing you can adjust your plans if needed.
• Exclusive discounts: Save on spa treatments and dining experiences!

Don't delay – Benidorm and paradise are calling! Click here to book!

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Portofino Mar Benidorm - Costa Blanca Spain

Okay, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your polished, glossy travel brochure itinerary. This is my attempt at conquering Portofino Mar Benidorm and escaping with my sanity (and hopefully, a tan). Prepare for a rollercoaster…

Portofino Mar & Benidorm - The Messy, Wonderful Truth (and Probably Too Much Sangria)

Day 1: Arrival, Existential Dread, and Questionable Paella

• Morning (Before 10 AM: The Flight from Hell): Arrive at Alicante airport, already regretting packing that extra pair of sandals. Customs? A blur of tired officials and the faint aroma of duty-free perfume. The transfer to Benidorm… well, the driver clearly hadn't had his morning coffee. We weaved like a rollercoaster, and I’m convinced a seagull tried to hitch a ride on the windshield.

• Mid-Morning (10 AM - 12 PM: Portofino Mar Check-In… and the Room): The hotel itself is… well, it's there. The lobby looks like someone raided a thrift store full of nautical-themed everything. Check-in was smoother than expected, but then I get to the room. It's… compact. And the view… well, it’s technically the sea, if you lean out the window and squint. This is going to take some getting used to.

• Lunch (12 PM - 2 PM: The Search for Food - the first big mistake): Found a "charming" little place near the beach. The menu promised paella perfection. What I got?… Well, let's just say the rice was drier than my sense of humor after that flight. And the seafood? I'm pretty sure it was pre-frozen, and the only flavor was salt. Seriously, I think they call it the "Sea Salt Special" - I did however, make some friends that I'm going to take this journey with.

• Afternoon (2 PM - 6 PM: Beach Bliss and a Little Bit of Madness): Finally, a decent experience! The beach! The waves, the sun, glorious. I spent that time walking and getting some much-needed sunlight. I should have put more sunscreen on. Anyway, back to the beach! I watched the world go by and started to feel better. At one point, I saw a woman in a full-body leopard-print swimsuit wrestling a beach umbrella. It was a masterpiece of silent comedy.

• Evening (6 PM - Late: Sunset, Sangria, and Staring at the Sea): Okay, the sunset. Now that was worth the trip. Gorgeous. I found a bar on the pier, ordered a jug of sangria (because, why not?), and just… breathed. Watching the colors change, the sound of the waves… I almost forgot about the paella. Almost. Then I met some other travelers and discovered how much they hated the paella too.

Day 2: The Quest for Authenticity & Karaoke Calamity

• Morning (8 AM - 10 AM: Attempting to be Cultured): I woke up with a hangover and the strong desire to go home. But I forced myself to get up, had breakfast and decided to attempt to find something more "authentic". I decided to take a trip the next town over. It’s a nice stroll, but honestly, I was still thinking about that awful meal from the day before.

• Lunch (12 PM - 2 PM: Redemption… Maybe?): Found a restaurant away from the tourist trap. The food? Much, much better. Real tapas! Real flavors. They kept the drinks coming, and I swear the waiter was flirting with everyone… or maybe it was just the sangria talking.

• Afternoon (2 PM - 5 PM: Poolside Relaxation… with a Side of Drama): Back at the hotel, I decided to relax at the pool. A couple started getting into an argument near me. She was furious; he just looked bewildered. I considered moving, but it was the most interesting thing that had happened all day.

• Evening (5 PM - Late: Karaoke - The Deepest Regret): The hotel held karaoke. I'm not a singer. I swore I wouldn't do it. But after a few more sangrias… well, let's just say my rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" was an experience. For everyone. I think I may have single-handedly lowered the bar for singing talent. I'm pretty sure the crowd was laughing at me, not with me, but honestly, I was having a blast.

  I had never felt so embarrassed and alive, all at once.

Day 3: Benidorm, Goodbye (and a Prayer)

• Morning (9 AM - 11 AM: The Beach – Again… and the Sunburn): One last morning on the beach, soaking up the sun. I look slightly less like a lobster. Good thing I got aloe vera.

• Lunch (11 AM - 1 PM: The Last Tapas): A quick lunch at that tapas place, because why not? I said goodbye to my new friends.

• Afternoon (1 PM - 5 PM: Packing and Regret, and Realization): Packing. The inevitable return home. This trip had tons of ups and downs, but wow I think it was so worth it.

• Evening (5 PM - Late: Departure - Sweet, Sweet Freedom): Head to the airport. The drive was… slower than the first arrival. More than that, it was a reflection of the week that was. Goodbye, Portofino Mar Benidorm. Farewell Costa Blanca. I feel like I’ve seen a different side of myself. And despite the paella and the karaoke, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

The Verdict:

Benidorm is… well, it’s Benidorm. It's messy. It's chaotic. It's loud. It's probably not for everyone. But if you're up for an adventure, with a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor (and can handle a questionable paella), then give it a go!

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Portofino Mar Benidorm - Costa Blanca Spain

Escape to Paradise: Portofino Mar Benidorm Awaits! (Or Does It?) - A REALLY Honest FAQ

Okay, so...Benidorm. Is it *really* paradise? The photos are...optimistic, aren't they?

Look, let's be honest. Paradise? Depends. If your idea of heaven involves a relentless sun, a sea of Speedos, and a karaoke bar on every corner, then YES. If you're picturing swaying palm trees and untouched beaches...maybe adjust your expectations. The *Portofino Mar* itself? It's...decent. The pool is a lifesaver (more on that later), and the views from some rooms *can* be stunning. But remember, Benidorm is Benidorm. It's a whirlwind of experiences. Prepare to be overwhelmed, in a good way, or a bad way, or both. Seriously. The energy! It's like someone plugged the town into a giant electric socket. Non-stop.

What's the vibe at the Portofino Mar? Is it more "family fun" or "wild stag do"?

Mixed bag, darling. Mostly, it leans towards "family-friendly," but don't let that fool you. Benidorm is a melting pot. You'll see grandmas sunbathing in bikinis next to rowdy teenagers on a mission. The Portofino tries to keep things relatively civil. I witnessed one... incident, though. Let's just say a stag party met a particularly grumpy German couple by the pool, and the resulting volley of insults was, shall we say, colorful. It was like a live-action sitcom, except with more sunburn and less subtlety. Prepare for anything. Seriously. Anything.

How's the food? Because, you know, holidays are about the food.

Ah, the eternal question. The *Portofino Mar*'s buffet... it's competent. It's got your basics covered. You won't starve. But let's be real: it's not Michelin-star cuisine. Think quantity over quality, mostly. The breakfast was fine – eggs, toast, the usual suspects. The dinner...well, there were some nights I'd describe as "adventurous." (One mystery meat dish…shudders). My advice? Venture out! Benidorm is awash with restaurants. Explore! Find the little tapas bars tucked away in the back streets. They're usually a goldmine. I stumbled upon one place with the most amazing garlic prawns. Seriously, best prawns of my life! Definitely go searching outside the hotel, unless you don't mind food that will get you through.

Are the rooms decent? What can I expect?

The rooms? Again, mixed. The view is probably the biggest factor. Try to get a sea view. Seriously. It's worth it. Otherwise, you might be staring at another building with a balcony full of drying laundry. The rooms themselves are standard fare – cleanish, functional, and a little bit dated. I had a minor drama with the air conditioning – it sounded like a jet engine taking off every night. Luckily, I'm a heavy sleeper... or, you know, maybe I just got used to it. Don't expect luxury. Expect a place to crash after a long day of sun, sangria, and possibly questionable decisions.

The pool…is it as chaotic as it looks in the photos?

Okay, let's get into the pool situation. This is MAJOR. The pool. The *Portofino Mar* pool is like the beating heart of the hotel. It's surprisingly large, and generally well-maintained. BUT...it's a magnet for people. People with giant inflatable flamingos. People with screaming children. People guzzling cocktails and belting out off-key renditions of "Summer Nights." I loved it, because of the experience. You could literally feel your stress melt away. Find yourself a spot early (or be prepared to fight, gently, for a sun lounger). And embrace the chaos! It’s very Beniform.

What about the entertainment? Is it any good?

The entertainment... ah. This is where things get truly *Benidorm*. Prepare for themed nights, bingo, and possibly a performance by someone who hasn't quite mastered singing but gives it their all. It's relentlessly cheerful. Think cheesy, sometimes hilarious, and rarely award-winning. Just go with it. The hotel has its own set, but the town itself is brimming with shows and bars. One night, I stumbled into a tribute to ABBA. It was... intense. But, at the end, absolutely amazing. I was singing along at the top of my lungs. The next day, I regretted it, but you know, it was a perfect Benidorm moment. Trust me, there will be some days you don't remember, and some moments you won't forget.

Anything else to do besides sunbathe and drink sangria?

Oh, absolutely! Benidorm is a playground. The beaches are lovely (though crowded). You can walk to the Old Town, which is charming with its tapas bars and narrow streets. There are water parks, theme parks, boat trips... honestly, you could spend a month and not run out of things to do. I’d highly recommend going to the Old Town. Get lost in the streets and eat the tapas. It's magic. I'd also seriously suggest a boat trip. It's a great way to see the coastline.

What's the best time to go?

Shoulder seasons, people! Spring or autumn. The weather is still lovely, the crowds are thinner, and prices are usually lower. Summer is HOT and CRAZY. It’s a whole other level of mayhem. But hey, some people love that. I’m just exhausted thinking about it.

What should I pack?

Sunscreen, of course. And a hat. And sunglasses. Bring the biggest hat you own. Seriously. The sun is relentless. Pack comfortable shoes for walking (you'll be doing a lot of it). Swimsuits – multiple, because you'll be living in them. And, most importantly, pack an open mind. And a sense of humor. Seriously, you'll need it. Also, a phrasebook or translation app. While a lot of people speak English, Spanish is always appreciated. And maybe a little bit of cash.

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Portofino Mar Benidorm - Costa Blanca Spain

Portofino Mar Benidorm - Costa Blanca Spain

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